you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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