dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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