i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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