i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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