M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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