The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
