Three words: puerto rican gang bang
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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