when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
