so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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