There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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