i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
