everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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