i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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