I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize