Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
