Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
