big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ketchup is God's man juice
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
