I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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