I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
