Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
