Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
