i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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