i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
