I wish i was in the wii world.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize