dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
