Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
