I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Less talking, more tequila
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
