you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am spending my child support on dildos
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
