Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
