you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
