A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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