To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
