halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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