I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
