i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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