its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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