do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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