She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
