im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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