Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
