you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
