stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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