things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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