This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's never too late to be topless.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Randomize
