get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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