Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
