In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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