maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
