You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
