your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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