Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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