Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
