Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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