as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
