I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
