I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
