Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
